Manchester City: I stopped counting Chelsea: 0 - What the hell was that!! - football

Manchester City: I stopped counting Chelsea: 0 - What the hell was that!!

Mother of god. This time last week I was watching a lioness chew the middle out of a still bleeding zebra and it was less gruesome than this. Someone?s just lobbed their membership card at Rudiger and I was so jet lagged this morning that I went all the way to the north of England and back without any make up on. Oh and I?ve smashed the screen on my phone. I?m going to approach this abomination in Manchester in the style of Sarri. Instead of making sense and producing a coherent narrative of what happened today, I?m just going to chuck random expletives and philosophy at the page with some observations and hope for the best. I?m pretty sure I will have more chance of qualifying for the champions league than Chelsea at the end of it...Manchester City refuse to leave the nineties behind. Bludgeoned half to death by Oasis in the build up, Faithless for the team announcement, Fatboy Slim for the team arrival, advertising Spice Girls concerts. Hundreds of them are sporting Marti Pellow yuppie ponytails. (Well, at least two) This is all without me even getting started on Aguero?s atrocious homage to the Red Scouse pre-millennium obsession with bleaching their hair. He?s having a midlife crisis at 30.It?s like The Royle Family have won the lottery and built a football stadium with the chavvy abundance of neon lighting, massive tv screens and the biggest badge in the world dwarfing the centre circle. It needed half the population of Mancland to hold the blood...
source: chelseadaft
URL source: http://www.chelseadaft.org/

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