CAN THEY DO IT WITH CHAMPIONS LEAGUE"
“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED"”
Pete, local bar, St. Louis, 1am
Arsenal unleashed pure brutality on a very young Burnley side that has accidentally found themselves in the Premier League in the same way a squirrel finds itself in a bear enclosure at a zoo.
The outcome was too gruesome to bear witness to. Mikel Arteta took his boys to Dubai, made them watch SHIT GONE WILD TikTok videos, and the result has been ‘nature isn’t kind’ output in all five games. Craig Bellamy, a player I had no love for back in the day, was hopelessly perched on the touchline watching the monstrosity unfold like a guinea pig owner who’d accidentally dropped a rattlesnake into the hutch.
I was worried Arsenal might make a mess of this game – my word was I wrong. Martin Odegaard, fresh off a December of ‘he can’t do it in big games’ or ‘he takes too many touches’ seems to have done it in every game since. He sets the tempo, the aggression, and the mood. Arsenal were decisive in every phase of the pitch. The scoring opened when Martinelli found him just outside the 18-yard line; the Norwegian teed himself up and smashed an outside-of-the-boot fizzer past James Trafford. It was a technical delight. Almost arrogant. But a reminder that this 25-year-old hasn’t had the gift of a proper #9, and his form in front of goal has been a little off.
8 goals, 7 assists… feels better, right"
Burnley had a crack down our end; O...
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