Photo by Harry Langer/DeFodi Images via Getty Images

If you can?t join them, beat them. Borussia Dortmund?s unbeaten start to the 2024/25 season came to an end this afternoon at the Neckarstadion, as VfB Stuttgart gave BVB a 5-1 paddling. Early goals from Deniz Undav and Ermedin Demirovic gave Stuttgart a 2-0 lead going into the break, in a first half that could only be described as Not Very Good. Still, if anyone had any big ideas about ?mounting a comeback? and ?not embarrassing ourselves,? they were quickly quashed when Enzo Millot scored Stuttgart?s third just after the hour. BVB did pull one back with 15 minutes left in the game, as Jamie Gittens set off a quick counter to put Serhou Guirassy through for his first Dortmund goal in the Bundesliga. That only served to anger Die Roten. Enzo Millot went straight up the other end, made a mockery of all of BVB?s defenders, and put one on a plate for El Bilal Touré to restore Stuttgart?s three-goal lead. Unfortunately, the football world has thus far ignored my campaign, launched yesterday afternoon at approximately 4.50pm, to reduce the length of matches to 60 minutes. Instead, Dortmund were forced to suffer the indignity of playing walking football against a running team as BVB?s ambling defense watched Deniz Undav make light work of his second of the afternoon right at the end of the game. The game might have ended 5-1, but don?t worry, Stuttgart only accumulated three expected goals to BVB?s 0.5, ...